The Mistress (looslely based on events that never happened)

A traitor in my bed
Your lips taste like all of my best friends
I knew this whole time but tonight is the night that all of this ends

I spent all day and night dreaming you weren't breathing
But I realize to get out of this hell
I gotta do this myself

So you slept silently
While I looked for the remedy for our love
Then I realized...Its a handgun

I have a fifty caliber with a pillow as a silencer
Leaving bloody sheets and memories in between my bed
Let the bullet be our kiss goodbye

I'm holding it to your head
And then I realize how cute you are when you sleep
And how I don't want to interrupt all your good dreams

So instead I left the gun on your chest
And a letter on our nightstand that reads
"Fuck all our memories"

Give and take

You can take my word
And treat it like open heart surgery
Because I'm dead serious

You can take my laugh
As the signal to keep going
You're killing me, kid

You can take my blood
And paint a picture so beautiful
how do you say 'fucked up' in the language of love?

So could i take your hand
And close my eyes so tightly at the searing thought of the past
And all of those memories who couldn't pass the one night record

And can i take your pain
And make it go away?
I'm not a magician, but i can work miracles if try hard enough

Can i take your vital signs
Take make sure your hearts always beating right
So you'll be fine on the outside

You can take my hoodie
If i can take your smile and store it somewhere in my head
Let's take our special places to the grave, by the way

Let's give each other immortality

Our violent obbscenities are covered with @'s and !'s

"I wanted to breathe smoke. I wanted to burn the Lourve. I'd do the Elgin Marbles with a sledge-hammer and wipe my ass with the Mona Lisa. This is my world, now" (Chuck Palahniuck, Fight Club)

Bloody palms and cigarette buds
Quarantine and Lollipops
Is this your idea of a good time?

Take all these toxicities
and snort them with your friends
The fun never fucking ends

And im sick of rhyming for your sheer entertainment
Trying to make manic depression crack a smile.
How witty is he?
He makes hand grenades funny
Shit

My boyish charm was lost in a call to arms
A firefight that lasted all night
They made me bleed for their beliefs
A martyr in camouflage

And I'll march with this dance of the dead
Wishing for something better until eventually
The blood in my vains go from blue to red

But it dosent matter because im making the world miserable
One victim at a time whether its limb by limb
or line by line

In search of words
Or a downfall that doesent involve my curse
But these marks for every sin tell me I'll never win

Swollen knuckles and conspiericies
Broken promises and broken wings
Failed thoughts and dead theories
These are a few of my favorite things

Atlas

If I could take it back I would
But we know how life works
And we know how this will end up
So why do you bite your lip?
Why do you tell me lies?
Why dont you cut the fucking chord and leave me for life?
And isnt it funny how my dreams reflect reality?
And how I'm a grey cloud away from hating rainy days
And how thunderbolts have grown old
I guess nothing is sacred anymore
Not since i was robbed of smiles
And abandoned like that baby on your doorstep
So now I'm out on the cold
All alone
And If i shiver to death
That would almost be a godsend
And I am crushed by the world but its okay because I've switched positions
From my back to my chest

(End)

I've fucked my life up (If only I had used protection)

Are you even listening?
(And yes I'm talking to a wall)
Do you even care at all?
Do you even fucking care at all?

And i dont know where the line ends
And I dont know where the bleeding begins
And I dont know when i stopped the precious praying
And I started slurring sins

But i cant care anymore
I simply do not have it in me
I was full with fantasies
And then you left me empty

So here I sit trying to make sense of it
With hands hands cupped
I'm holding these "I love you" notes
Wondering where i messed up

And I'll always detest august
For all the good times
And how i was gone
For the time of your lives

So here i am- just another broken man
And the angel of your compensation
And I have no magic or self esteem
But i damn sure heal sickest patients

And you can beat me and break me
Hate me and rape me
Use me then lose me
Fucking abuse me
Spit on me
Quit on me
Do whatever you want and say what you mean to say
As long as you're happy by the end of the day

Dedicated to Mr. JJ Lynn