I am so thirsty

I wake up in a scratchy and cheap carpet and multi colored walls- it was my room, but it felt so different.

And when I rubbed my eyes, I said to myself

"I am so thirsty"

I went downstairs and asked my mom if I could get something to drink. She smiles, opens her mouth and attempts to talk, but water comes pouring out of her throat. Gallons and gallons.

My jaw drops and my leg shakes a little before I saw "Dad, what's happened to mom?"

He just fixes his glasses and opens his mouth and water spews out of his mouth too.

I run out of my house, seeing puddles everywhere and lakes where the grass used to be.

People are conversing, making glugging sounds, I can't see how they're not drowning. Politicians argue, making streams run all the way down Capital Hill

It's beginning to get so bad, water comes out of every orifice of the bodies to the point of where they stopped being humans and started being channels.

The world once seventy percent water is at least ninety percent now.

This leads to me floating on a raft for the rest of my life, fishing with this rod I stole before the great flood.

Once in a while I get lucky and end up hooking a bag of chips or a shirt I could dry and wear, sometimes I even dive for necessities.

But one thing I never do is drink water.

I either drink soda or whatever I find or I salivate

I won't bring myself to drinking what destroyed my culture, my society, and my loved ones.

I miss my scratchy cheap carpet with my multi colored walls

I am so thirsty.

Every abrupt ending

Every abrupt ending has a begging

Cassandra, have you found me yet?

I was hiding in the lake when we played hide and seek and something pulled me under.

It was so calm and silent underneath that lake

Then

Crescendo!

There's a whole world under here, and its bliss, baby

I hope to see you soon, but I think not. I think I've fallen off the side of the earth

Here I stand, staring upon the sky- as water and algae and hydra's and water bears as the stars.

Cassandra, I'll always remember you

But I think I found my place somewhere in the mossy bottom of the stratosphere

I'm lifted lifted lifted…

I come out the pool gasping for breath; water comes pouring out of my throat

I'm floating on my back in a mossy pond, my eyes starting to adjust to the light.

"I found you!" Cassandra yells

 

 

Weird Stories for Weird People

Standing at 5"8', Leonard was a man with a constant runny nose and bulging green eyes

Every day at 1:13, during lunch time, he would read the daily paper, take a sip of his coffee, spit it out and stand up, running around he yelled "THE END IS NIGH! THE END IS NEAR! IT'S APPROACHIIIING!!!!"

Nobody knew where he went after the whole act, but he was back to do it again every morning.

 

"Beautiful, just beautiful." Morris was 67 years old standing in front of a wall with a can of spray-paints. He was a graffiti artist who just wrote his name, but a bit more stylized.

He had only been caught twice buy when the police officers approached him and touched his shoulder, his eyes just grew big and he said "Rodger where am I? Rodger, why are you wearing that uniform? I just want to go home."

They took him home-thinking he was senile, worked everytime.

 

There's a man who puts quarters into meters for people past their time.

And a crossing guard who refers to all of the kids as her children.

A woman who clicks her heels everytime she's scared

And a man who bounces his leg whenever he sits down.

 

There's a kid that no one likes

And there's that girl that always fights

Black and blue she lost a tooth, but she's the winner of total resilience

 

Watching these people everywhere you go.

The sky is turning gray and thunder sparks the world alive

Leonard was right- the worlds approaching

 

Gravity tears and now we're all floating away

 

Accidents and Impotency

"What are we going to do?! Are you going to be a father or not?!" She said as all I could do was blankly stare, head in hands at anything other than her. I couldn't believe that this had happened on this night.

Only minutes ago were we having sex, I paid close attention to her faced, this dazed quivering-lipped looking look. I was on top and she didn't say a word. Not a thing, but she's yelling as soon as it's over.

"The condom's slipped! THE CONDOM HAS FUCKING SLIPPED!!!"

And this is where you guys came in.

But there are several things I should've known about this girl, but didn't, because well- to be honest, I just met her.

In a bar on some street, I saw her dancing and she asked me to take her home. To my home.

Which is why I'm sitting on the edge of the bed right now.

My whole body ached, especially below the waist and I began to grow nauseous.

"You're not listening." She said in a surprisingly calm angry voice. "Why aren't you listening to me."

My world spun a bit. I had only known this girl for one night and I thought of us together. Raising kids. Fuck, even paying taxes with each other.

"Please… just be quiet for a minute." I said, trying to sort things out.

Her eyes almost went evilly black when she said "I have you're number. I'm going to leave and call back when I get the results of the pregnancy test. And If you don't want your baby in your life, that's fine by me." She said tearing up and running out of my apartment, to the elevator.

I analyzed the situation.

What I knew anyway.

What I didn't know is that she smiled as soon as she got outside.

I didn't know that she taught herself how to constrict the muscles in her vagina to slowly pull the condom off, inside of her.

I didn't know at home, she had a pink and a blue room, one for each potential child she wanted to have. She sat next to the cribs every nights and smiled, pretending to tuck them in.

If I would've walked towards the windowsill, I would've seen her talking to her belly, saying "Mommy's going to get you a daddy, baby. Don't worry about it."

She was insane. A predator who did this every night to unsuspecting men like me.

She denies anything wrong with her, after so many attempts and fails at pregnancy

What this girl didn't know was that she was infertile.

Air and sky

Up up and away!
You and me
Happiness
Finally
Gravity
Cheers and shouts
Screams and smiles
I always knew we'd make it out okay
I think I want to change the world
But holding your hand is a better thought for now
Forever
You and I
Together!
Burst burst burst
Swing crush fly dance die happy

Don't move

A thing in a box
They took him out and gave him a Glasgow smile
I'm a boy I'm a boy! he yelled
It's alive It's alive! they yelled
Chased through the forest like Frankenstein's monster
Like he couldn't distinguish the different between mice and men
But he was just a 'boy' with stitches, switches and half a brain
So here i stood- the Pariah of the woods
So i burned the bitch down and got the fuck out of town
I raised a kid
I got a life
I was normal, finally fitting in
Until I wanted to make a change and be a politician
You'd be surprised how fast mudslinging turns into gunslinging when people know you're different
I had to leave agaain
They shot my wife and shot my kid dead
So I'm off to make a bomb to drop
To kill them all and laugh at a distance
Once a boy with a tear
Now a man with no mercy

Bone Marrow Biopsy (the alchemist, the concubines and wide eyes)

You want a piece of my marrow

Don’t you think we’ve gone too far?

Stiletto drawn but dear, my rapier slices much swifter

You want a bit of my blood

In exchange for your covet

That’s not a fair trade for what we have

Nevertheless I’m just an assassin pestilent and quiet, can you spot me in all these dancing silhouettes?

Corset drops and I admit I’m impressed

I never thought a succubus could looks so unfeigned

I gave a bite to the neck, a shot o the head

Next time never trust a man who knows the price to pay and what pistol you carry

A forlorn girl at the whore house with minuscule fangs

Everybody’s blessing bane, I swear we’ll make it out with your mother’s crucifix in tact

I’ve got a revolver to keep them the fuck down and a prayer to keep them in the ground

Corpus and fluid is all they got against us but it’s so sweet to see her wide eyed to a sin I’ve done my whole life

So here we are, the yard of the Past, the deep catacombs dimly lit so they seek they souls to fuel the fire

Limping living dying miserable things dropped jaw rolled eyes screaming “Memories, Memories”

One bit me in the Achilles heel just for the taste of nostalgia of being alive

And as it chorused through my veins I realized it wasn’t a pandemic it was more like a plague

So as I lay on the final step one inch away from getting out

I give up on running all I can do is idly fight

The sharper-tooth mistresses, the low jawed dead

And here comes the wraith

Pulling and tugging inside of me I’m screaming

Telling her run run run run

I feel the doppelganger pulling, product of my alchemy

And here dies the scientist with the silver bullet

Do you see my bone marrow now?

It’s open in my wrists for you to come in sip

But I’ve been sipping poison to keep me strong

Little increments of the venom will kill you all

I’m bitter brittle, rapier by side

Swinging in my sleep and dreaming about you

I’ve trained for this breathless lifeless moment where my wide eyed angel disappears into the night

Norman Rockwell Picture Melts

You cant be serious

More blood on my hands and a body in my truck

I was supposed to be swinging tonight, but instead I got in a fistfight

I guess?

I can still here the bass drum of his face

Ba dum dum

And the horns playing in sync with the clarinet soloing

Rock and roll stars of their days

So down by the bay, that's where I'll dump the body

I'll dance around the accusations and tiptoe my way home late at night to avoid waking my wife

No honey, I don't know why I have a hangover

Maybe I'm just love drunk (punch drunk)

As motherfuck, but whatever you do please don't use cuffs tonight

Trying to ease my guilty mind, there a body behind each wall and hall

So here I am giving in painting the portrait of a killer

The blood has dripped from every drain

My apologies, warden for being such a fuss that night

I just wanted to dance and I just wanted to cheat on my wife

The Smartass, The Time bomb

Keep running your fucking mouth, go ahead

Keep talking about what gets to you about me and what I've done in the past

And I'll just stand there, feet planted firmly into the ground, fists clenched

One Mississippi, two Mississippi

This is me at the door, and my boss at his desk. I can't seem to move and all he can talk about is my personal life.

My kids despising me, my wife leaving me, my dying mother ashamed of her baby boy

And all I can think is "You kissed corporate ass and climbed the ladder for this?

Three Mississippi, four Mississippi

I want to staple his eyelids open

Put his dick in a pencil sharpener

Hahaha

Fill his face with paper clips

Puncture asshole outlets in your body using a hole puncher

Hahahahaha

"And one more thing," he said. "Your taste in ties is horrible"

Five Mississippi

I sprinted across the room and struck him so hard; a little squeal came from his throat

He fell back from the swiveling office chair, kicking over his family photos

Ha

I was gone by the time security got there

A Man, A Mammoth

Looking up at the moonlit night, I realized I'd do anything just to have her bones back again

Hugging me, playing with my hair, anything, I didn't need flesh, I swear, only a sturdy structure

I'm smoke all the cigarettes, jump through all the nooses, and sleep in an electric chair just to get to her

But she's gone, a car crash took her away forever and there's nothing left to say.

The only part I regretted was not saying goodbye, but I figured if she didn't have the decency to say goodbye, I never had to say good luck

"Good thing it's not my fault the breaks locked right?" I say laughing to myself

And looking out my window, I see a radio tower and I wonder where the hell is that?

I wonder when exactly the times will change on it

Like how shipwrecks turned to train wrecks

And how water became wine

Nonetheless, I decided to find these towers and take pictures

Like a lone man hunting a giant mammoth, all I had was a cannon camera.