This is absoloutley normal

It seems everytime my hands touch the paper
This serial killer font compliments my carpal tunnel syndrome

With loss of courtesy
And dwindling respect
I'm spitting on whatever i see fit

And stepping on all of the little people, the ones who made us who we are
They've become abstract in our eyes so they become extinct

I hope you're happy when im laughing
And if not, you're not on my side
(If this were majority votes, this'd be a major mindfuck)

So grit your teeth and close your eyes
As all our memories come rushing by

I'm not the same and life is imitating art
Ive become a surreal piece that resembles the scream
Twisted and grotesque- the armor of all great leaders

A sword of pride, ripping through all of our ribs
So i guess this is goodbye with an added bonus

Watch me shed a tear, look me in the eyes
I'm dead inside
Can you find the culprit?

Swaying arms like the cult i learned to love
Tell me if i go to far on this one....

I'm watching people free fall to the end
Letting it all go with their flailing arms
And sometimes i wonder if they did it because they just did it for flying

But this is all nonsensical lyrics
Like that serial killers serenade he just transformed into a novel

-With Love, Derrick

Watch what you say

We showed up at the takeover
With suits and ties and garrote wire
Offing billionaires and big time business owners.
At least we're dressed to impress
At least we're killing them with courtesy and class
Rather upperclass assholes than lowerclass losers

And we showed them the meaning of good hard work when we tore them peice by peice
When they cant even fold those dollar bills in their wallet
And it's a damn shame, but look at it this way
At least somebody showed them the meaning of manual labor.

You and I were quite the same in life-never seemed to past the test.
We always said D- all of the above
But little did we know that a higher power was always undermining us
That's why we're leveling the playing field to ground zero.

Ask me why we did it one last time
And we'll both laugh because we hate your tie
And are waiting for your stock market to crash
We hope you go up and flames along with your precious brief case
But if you want something done right...
You have to be the one that brings down the knife.

We're armed... with our arms
But we're damn sure dangerous
And we're rushing in your building
And they cant do anything but sit and stare
They're programmed to swear
But not programmed to fight back

We planned, we came, we pissed on your parade
And now your fancy white wine glasses are filled with all the working class struggles
Can you swallow it?
Swallow more than your alcoholic binges, your dwindling marriages and even
Look past that whore sucking you off for money
And address the problem of poverty
But it's too late
because all you see now is black

Go to sleep
And don't wake up
We'll bury you with all your possessions-because we know that's all you've ever wanted
And me and my friend will take homicide because we knew it was do or die
I hope you got the point and i hope you paid the price
But we wont ever apologize

The Mistress (looslely based on events that never happened)

A traitor in my bed
Your lips taste like all of my best friends
I knew this whole time but tonight is the night that all of this ends

I spent all day and night dreaming you weren't breathing
But I realize to get out of this hell
I gotta do this myself

So you slept silently
While I looked for the remedy for our love
Then I realized...Its a handgun

I have a fifty caliber with a pillow as a silencer
Leaving bloody sheets and memories in between my bed
Let the bullet be our kiss goodbye

I'm holding it to your head
And then I realize how cute you are when you sleep
And how I don't want to interrupt all your good dreams

So instead I left the gun on your chest
And a letter on our nightstand that reads
"Fuck all our memories"

Give and take

You can take my word
And treat it like open heart surgery
Because I'm dead serious

You can take my laugh
As the signal to keep going
You're killing me, kid

You can take my blood
And paint a picture so beautiful
how do you say 'fucked up' in the language of love?

So could i take your hand
And close my eyes so tightly at the searing thought of the past
And all of those memories who couldn't pass the one night record

And can i take your pain
And make it go away?
I'm not a magician, but i can work miracles if try hard enough

Can i take your vital signs
Take make sure your hearts always beating right
So you'll be fine on the outside

You can take my hoodie
If i can take your smile and store it somewhere in my head
Let's take our special places to the grave, by the way

Let's give each other immortality

Our violent obbscenities are covered with @'s and !'s

"I wanted to breathe smoke. I wanted to burn the Lourve. I'd do the Elgin Marbles with a sledge-hammer and wipe my ass with the Mona Lisa. This is my world, now" (Chuck Palahniuck, Fight Club)

Bloody palms and cigarette buds
Quarantine and Lollipops
Is this your idea of a good time?

Take all these toxicities
and snort them with your friends
The fun never fucking ends

And im sick of rhyming for your sheer entertainment
Trying to make manic depression crack a smile.
How witty is he?
He makes hand grenades funny
Shit

My boyish charm was lost in a call to arms
A firefight that lasted all night
They made me bleed for their beliefs
A martyr in camouflage

And I'll march with this dance of the dead
Wishing for something better until eventually
The blood in my vains go from blue to red

But it dosent matter because im making the world miserable
One victim at a time whether its limb by limb
or line by line

In search of words
Or a downfall that doesent involve my curse
But these marks for every sin tell me I'll never win

Swollen knuckles and conspiericies
Broken promises and broken wings
Failed thoughts and dead theories
These are a few of my favorite things

Atlas

If I could take it back I would
But we know how life works
And we know how this will end up
So why do you bite your lip?
Why do you tell me lies?
Why dont you cut the fucking chord and leave me for life?
And isnt it funny how my dreams reflect reality?
And how I'm a grey cloud away from hating rainy days
And how thunderbolts have grown old
I guess nothing is sacred anymore
Not since i was robbed of smiles
And abandoned like that baby on your doorstep
So now I'm out on the cold
All alone
And If i shiver to death
That would almost be a godsend
And I am crushed by the world but its okay because I've switched positions
From my back to my chest

(End)

I've fucked my life up (If only I had used protection)

Are you even listening?
(And yes I'm talking to a wall)
Do you even care at all?
Do you even fucking care at all?

And i dont know where the line ends
And I dont know where the bleeding begins
And I dont know when i stopped the precious praying
And I started slurring sins

But i cant care anymore
I simply do not have it in me
I was full with fantasies
And then you left me empty

So here I sit trying to make sense of it
With hands hands cupped
I'm holding these "I love you" notes
Wondering where i messed up

And I'll always detest august
For all the good times
And how i was gone
For the time of your lives

So here i am- just another broken man
And the angel of your compensation
And I have no magic or self esteem
But i damn sure heal sickest patients

And you can beat me and break me
Hate me and rape me
Use me then lose me
Fucking abuse me
Spit on me
Quit on me
Do whatever you want and say what you mean to say
As long as you're happy by the end of the day

Dedicated to Mr. JJ Lynn

I will never blink

You're singing "Don't you forget about me"
And I'm singing "Don't you know who I am?"
You can put your fears to rest
Because my mind wont stray away from your face
Even if it has to haunt me to remind me that your spirit was what I fell in love with
This is all foolish kids stuff
But I've been 15 for 6 days and you still make me feel five sometimes
I want to swing with you and sing with you...
Songs we learn from living each other's lives and loving each other's ears
No I will not forget your fear of fading or your fears of dying or your fears of growing up
In my eyes, you cannot grow fade or die
Your youth will remain
I will never forget a face like yours
or a time like this
or such a vivid imagination
In this colorbook world
I cant let you go
I cant let anybody go
We live the same lifestyle
Of dropping quarters in the meter
Hoping to never become a last year thing
When honestly we just need to live in the moment
Let's laugh at something that isnt funny
Let's make a peice of art with a peice of paper
Let's talk till we drop
Let's thrust
Hold my hand
And let's see what could be our own little peice of heaven
And where we can raise hell
Keep your eyes open at all times
Because we'd hate to miss anything on life's strange ride
Dont blink, Pipsqueak

Frayed

So I guess what the saints said
Didn't exactly sing sanctuary
And maybe I held the holy water in too high regards
And it pains me to say this
I hate this
But what if no thing's sacred?
What If we're all jaded?

And here we go again
Speak of the devil
I'm speaking with a fork down my tongues
And it's funny how we don't know Latin
But we can all speak pig
And it's funny how after a crucifix
We lost our consciences
(forgive, forget)

And I'm sorry for the book of praise and forgiveness
And they fact they seem like letterbombs to mankind
That's just the way i found to say that it's on my mind all day long
And I'm no pagan
But i think Ive found a Temple
And i know I'm not an Aztec
But i still fear that ceremonial dagger to my chest

All we have
Is prayer
And patience
And all I wanted
Was to show you these battered wings can still fly

All my mistakes lay in an old photo album
And the words I love _________ carved into random segments in my life

I will NEVER take love so lightly again
In the album is friends that forgot me

And in my fist is a wish
That i could sever ties
With simple violence

...I hate most of you
I love about five of you

All my regrets were in that ciggarette
But i watched it slowly burn to the filter
And then get stomped on like it never even mattered
Maybe if we dont care about filters that much
People should expect honesty

All my signs of defience
Were left in the last stand
I let it go because you let go
And theres no point in fighting for a quitter

Recorded before a live studio audience
Is me in a cage
Keep laughing and one day
I'll rip off you're face

You pushed me
You pushed me to the ground
And I scraped my knee
And it brought back all of the memories
That I wasted all my tears on youth
And to tell you the truth
I HATE growing up
And im slowly
Growing
Into the institution

Somebody save me
Take me by the hand
And show me what I've never seen
Somebody never make me a memory
And I'll make you another promise that is a lie
Because theres no such thing as forever
But eternally, we smile

Dreaming Dawn

I'm kissing the horizon
Waiting for the choice of a hello sunrise
Or a good night life
Catching clouds
Or strangling stars
It all dosent matter anymore, does it?
It has to?
Will it?
Then nights are getting colder
And it only rains in the day
But I've seen ranier days
...But I've seen better ways
To be wrapped in a blanket of darkness
Maybe I should just take in the sun
And watch my skin turn a darker shade of orange
So send my ammends to the moon
And tell the sun I'll see it soon
=]

Wishing on Yesterdays

My thoughts are riddled with riddilin
And I'd be perfectly fine
With rewinding time to that night
Where Everything was fine

Status Report

"My Daily Life Writes A Eulogy
Engraved On Tombstone Diaries
Laid To Rest By the Passing of Time
Seems To me that Even Love Can Die"

Status Report:
I'm perfectly content on being alone right now
Status Report:
Everytime I melt with Passion
I End up Getting Re-shaped the wrong way
Status Report:
You're Destroying yourself and you dont even know it yet
Status Report:
Diaries are either for the extremely interesting... or the incredibly narcissistic
So put away the damn mirror and burn that notebook
Status Report:
You no longer make me quiver nor do you make me smile
You just dont exist anymore
Status Report:
I'm sick of love gone wrong
So for the first time: I'm doing something Right
Get out of my life

How To Set Yourself on Fire

Let the pilot light in her eyes die out

And pour keroscene on your memories

And burn the evidence

That there ever was a flame between you and I

Let the infernono

Take me over

My burning Desires

Reflected in that Lake of Fire

Take your Regrets and lay them to rest

From ashes From Ashes

From dust to dust

I caught fire inside

and now it has oxygen to live on

Counting Backwards

Count on me by the beach burying my self in sand
Count on me in a bar, sipping away my sorrows
Count on me somewhere having the most fun I ever had
With my friends and no a false face in sight
Count on me being all alone
Count o on be being home
Count on me laughing
Count on me crying
Count on me living
Count o n me dying
Count on me thinking
Count on me thinking
I don’t give a fuck
Just don’t ever count on me by your side
Ever Again

Fretboard tapping

Your love
Keeps my heart beating in the precussion
The beating is a beautiful feeling
Your Smiles
Are like a fine tuned string
Just waiting to ring
Your eyes
Are a bass with that underling tone
Telling me what I need to see
Your voice is a microphone
That is always there
I always care
Your existance.... is music to my ears

We own the night

The silent killers
Serenading the next generation with cigarettes
The wishing
Of only having to wear ties and dress shirts when dressing up at 7
The yearning
To go back and remember your first kiss
The feeling
Of bass on the radio as we go down the road
To anywhere
And yes, we own the night
We’re going to break some laws and break some hearts
And you only try to stop us
Because you wish you were us
We are the walking living
In a world of zombies
We are the last stand before the final fall
We are a joyride away from suicide
And a heart attack away from Harvard
We own the tomorrow
We own today
We own the night

Another Letter To my Wife to be

I confess
I love it when your hair’s a mess
So meet me at the altar in that dress
And I admit
I’m addicted to failed relationships
But at least I can commit
Can you handle it?
Seeing me fly off the handle
And enjoy every second of it?
Will you laugh?
When I fall into the bottomless pit
That reads “It’s Worthwhile, I promise”
Will you cry?
When I’m curled up in a ball
Somewhere in a train station
Will you laugh?
When you find out I’m writing my wedding vowels at 14?
Will you raise an eyebrow?
When you find out I’ve lost myself I your self discovering?
Will you squirm?
When we make that eternal blood oath?
Will you be the last?
To feel my touch
And call me darling?
I confess
I love everything that makes us humans imperfect

Ode to Ms. Mento

I'm drowning in a puddle
I'm breathing in a bubble
My brain is laced my happy thoughts
And my mind’s riddled with little white lies
My blood is flavored bubble gum
To those in favor of homicide
And leaving no trace, of what I taste…
Like
My brain is feeling blistered
From the time I took to listen
To every single word you’d say
It took up all of yesterday
But I appreciate the calluses
Even if it’s from malice
I learned to disregard all the damage
And embrace it as another stitch
In my head
My face is feeling frosted
My eyes feel a bit rotted
A wasted all my sight on fright
And fear of what the next day holds
My arms are feeling fine….
But my hands flutter like butterflies
Every time I write about that one time.
Sigh
I’m a fair-weather fan of finding forever
So that means I’m fucked for an eternity
And I’m a bleeding heart that’s not even scared
So it means I shouldn’t yearn to be…
The depressed kid who never did
Seem to get anywhere
But a spiral in the worlds eclipse
Who never seemed to get his lips
Kissed
So I’m breathing in a bubble
But I see no trouble
In living off incubation
And I’ll never say I’m drowning
Because it’s sounding like I’m in a shallow hallucination
Patience

Freestyle

Accept the fate
Come to the cruel realization that you're
Dying every day
Swallow your pride
Just to realize theres been a timebomb inside of you
This whole time
Lose control
And then feel like you have a grip on everybodies throats
Dedicate to giving up
Dedicate to giving up

Humanity & Hallucination

All you meant was the world to me
Cause’ I saw it in your eyes
The human races fate
In the most comfortable place
And sure I trust you
But do you trust yourself?
You’re either the Entity of heaven
Or the Masquerade of hell

So tell me is this life a lie?
Is humanity a cruel hallucination?
If so, then what was the motivation?
For putting beauty to a paper town
Filled with people covered in scratched-out faces?
So many pointless words and useless places

So let’s go forget
Forget that love even exists
And let’s see if out impulses remember it.
The way it was supposed to be.
So our mistakes are erased
And our flaws is forgotten
Then what do we have after that
But a new set of problems?

And this shit makes no sense
Sorry I tend to ramble about nothing
But I can feel a storm of spite coming
Hurricane heart attack
How will the world react?
With lifeless tears or Heartless cheers?
It doesn’t matter after all these years
I saw it coming, anticipating the anxiety
But after 40 different facades and 5 different faces
90 different lives and 2 different races
This is me; you can take it or leave it
Purity
Is all I have and that’s the way that I see it

And Your Reflection Still Exists

And your reflection still exists
In it’s perfection I remember it
As clear as the day
That you told me to get away
But no, I seemed to follow
And my head feels a little hollow
What’s this pill called?
No, the one I have to swallow

I think it’s called love

But I never asked for it, it just kinda fell into my lap
And it’s funny how I get drunk on all your mishaps…
And wake up with a hangover, just promising this time I’ll be sober
(I always had a problem with keeping promises
But with you it’s to the grave)


And you’re reflection still exists
In my eyes
But you were never there
No surprise
But your shadow seems to follow me
Boundlessly
Until the darkening of he skies
The deficiency, it’s killing me

(Music stops)
And the catoptrics say I’m insane
And all the poets think I’m mundane
But I’ll never think I’ll refrain
From letting you somewhere inside my brain

And I still remember your endearing laughs
And I still remember how pretty you were when you cried
And all your notes were just rough drafts…
For the final time you’d say goodbye
Now all I have nostalgia, so I’ll muse about how much I loved you)

And you’re reflection still exists
In my eyes
But you were never there
No surprise
But your shadow seems to follow me
Boundlessly
Until the darkening of he skies
The deficiency, it’s killing me

And I’ll beat myself up
Because there’s no one to strike
And I’ll scream at myself
Because you’re not here to fight
The simplicity of it all is…
That I am just another one of the fallen
Who overdosed on love’s medication
Clutched on my dedication
And now can’t stand to be
In amity
Baby, this time you really damaged me
-Dm

What made the Cityhigh Art Gallery

At The Twilight

At the Twilight
I can see us holding hands…
Or holding hand grenades

At the Twilight
I can see us kissing
Or killing each other

At the Twilight
I can see puppy love
Or pit bull bites

So do I go for sunrise or eclipse?

At sunrise
I can see everything so bright
But I can’t see when there’s fading of the light
At eclipse
I can see every thing with clarity
But it seems to cause disparity
And shots in the dark

Fighting in eclipse
Denying false sunlight
So with you…
I’ll always remain
At the Twilight.

I Dont Know

Walking down the street
All these broken memories
I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong
And I can't
Let this one slide
Though this pride one day will make me die
I still sing the same old song


And you shoved it in my face
With malice and a hint of grace
Oh why does love make me sick
And I analyze your every move
And hold on to your 'I love yous'
Because you're so damn perfect


And there is a heavy line
Between being fine and suicide
The digression and depression
Doesn't happen over night
So when you see me cry
Goddammit, don't you dare ask me why

Her Obstruction (unfinished)

Her Obstruction

Behind those eyes
Is a catacomb suppressed
Waiting to be opened
And she plays it off so subtlety
Behind that smile
Is a little girl, scared of the world.
Who only knows the paths traced for her
But I’ve been trying to palliate
And revive a wounded soul
But all I could do is close my eyes
And hope tomorrow treats you better


Your heart
In my hands…
You’re blood
On my conscience
Your Tears
Will hit me harder than bullets
Ever could
And as we take that long walk
All I feel is a sense of remembering
This happened before
And I wish I could take away all of your pain
And decimate
Your desolation
If only you understood
That an fallen angel can’t grow back its wings
Until it’s at peace
(With itself)




Baby Dont Destroy yourself

I'm posting far too much

Lovers, Lie, Intertwined

Swaying arms
Interlocked fingers
Have never been realities.
To me

Causing harm
Your blood still lingers
And the blood has spelled out my name
Guilty

And At this parting moment
I feel no regret
I’ll never apologize
For my mindset

I’ve been wronged to many times
To let this one slide by

Love has always been a lie

Lizzy Borden 08

Happiness is a virtue
That you should’ve never had
Well… then I hope you’re happy when I’m gone
Because then you won’t have to wonder why I’m haunting you

You can still hear one of my obnoxious laughs

And you can still read one of my disgusting poems

And you can still be one of my disgusting topics

Isn’t it so much better when my eyes aren’t ‘draped with guilt’

And it’s all replaced with hate?

Don’t be so obsessive…......... of yourself

Don’t be so pathetic.................without him

Do you think a boy’s going to solve your problems?
And take the self hatred away?
So you’re only beautiful when he’s around?
Spare me this bullshitYour jealousy is pathetic

Your prowess…just isn’t working

Your life is built on your lies

Your selfishness is your downfall

Your poems are disgusting

And your eyes are draped with guilt

You have a demon… .......................in your head
And it’s ahead … ..............................by one thousand
And you’ll let it................................ reside
As long as his guilty conscience… is by your side
Where is the angel I fell in love with?
Have you ever heard of malice?
It works great against some selfish bitch
Who wants to destroyed the world
And rebuild it too
You
killed
everything

our last chance to waste life away

Let’s give up for once
On living and let our only priority
Be breathing
(and still, I only breathe because of you)
You can take my love Or leave it
Either way, it will still be there Somewhere…
(somewhere in those misspent days)
Let our insecurities
Fend for themselves
Because I’m so tired of defending it
But the funny thing about my flaws is that they’re only visible to myself
But I can’t find one on you
(you’re so perfect, I promise)
Let your tears be unfathomable
And let your fears vanish in the night
(like a bullet in the sky)
Could we take a leap into what we don’t know? {*2}
Chorus:And we’ll pour our hearts out
And we’ll dream of something better
With a dash of sublime and a hint of immortality

(The world is at your feet
And I am at your door
And you were in my dreams
And you were so serene)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I could sing the words clearly so you could finally understand
(Or I could scream them, hoping it could reach your subconscious)
Either way I’ll make your knees shake or your head bang
(The acceptance takes my pain away)You’re smile is the morning horizon
And all of your wounds… Drives them to an early tomb
(I promise I’ll protect you)
And now I’ll refuse to lives life'S lie
Until the end of time…
(We are… recluse)
Chorus:And we’ll pour our hearts out
And we’ll dream of something better
With a dash of sublime and a hint of immortality
(The world is at your feet
And I am at your door
And you were in my dreams
And you were so serene)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bridge And this is our last chance
To waste life away
In intertwined handsI destroy these days
And this is our last chance
To finally live our life
Break from the ties and binds
Our fingers intertwined
(You gave me life)

I get a bit crazy sometimes

i stared at somebodies myspace and i was pissed
then i wrote


As I view the new and improved
My stomach quivers because I realize I’m not there
Did I know you
At one point or another?
Because I don’t remember you at all this way.
But I’ll continue to pretend
My heart doesn’t throbbing and aching
Along with my head
Every time his name is mentioned

You see
I don’t let go of things that easily so…
I’m tearing myself apart
And I don’t want your sympathy
I just want you to leave me to my work,
After all,
I didn’t matter at all
Did I?
Tell the truth
See what happens
Think for a moment,
It’s really easy…
You were nothing without him
So now you don’t need me
And you two are so fucking beautiful.


And I will watch
My own burial day by day
As the time slowly passes away
I try to close my eyes,
But you keep it in my mind
His initials in a heart
And my heart feels betrayal
And my heart feels cheated
Deceived
Though you were never mine,
How come the hushed ones
Make it off so easily?

I wrote this shit a long time ago

But I'm impressed
Prayer

In this prayer
I scream
No, this couldn’t be a dream
I’m bleeding
She’s seeing
The ugly side of me

All I can do is laugh
Perhaps
I wasn’t made for the weak
The bleak
My check
Is swollen because
I’m struck
I’m stuck
On this black eye


I learned
From a brutal whore
And at this moment
I focus
On the ugly side of war
I’m poor
Poor me
Living in selfishness
I’m selfless
Or helpless?
On the surface
I’m not worth it?
I’m worthless?
You’re perfect?

Hell no.

Corrupted
I’d rupture
Their rapture
And capture
The eye of the beholder
Probably won’t understand…Maybe when you’re older